HASH MAG VOLUME 18 ISSUE 5 (November 2000)

Emergency procedures for Hashers - latest.

In the event of a national or global emergency, certain procedures will come into effect to ensure:

  • that hashing can, where possible, continue in the Bristol area during the emergency;
  • a swift return to normal hashing after the emergency is over.

An emergency committee chairman will be elected at the next AGM, but, in the meantime, a meeting was recently held to create a temporary committee. The Temporary Emergency Committee (TEC) will, as soon as possible after the announcement of the emergency, make its way to the secret hash bunker (SHB). The following points have been agreed:

1. Supplies.

1.1. Beer and Cider.

Emergency supplies should be constantly maintained, catering for a wide range of tastes. It is thought that a minimum of three cask-conditioned ales (approaches have been made to both Bath Ales and the Butcombe Brewery already) and a medium cider from Thatchers should be kept in optimum condition.

1.2. Chasers.

A selection of shorts should be available. These are easily stored, have a long life and are useful for toasts and "getting a grip" after receiving bad news. One crate each of Scotch Whisky, Irish Whiskey, Gin, Brandy, Vodka and Rum is though sufficient initially. An anonymous request for Tia Maria has been discounted as a hoax.

1.2. Mixers.

After some heated discussion it was agreed that a Tesco's 2-litre "Value" bottle of Lemonade would be included.

1.3. Water.

It was agreed that, under the circumstances, washing could be dispensed with for the duration of the emergency. Where one was switching from, say, Bath Ales' Gem to Butcombe's Best, a cloth could be kept available for wiping round the inside of the glass.

1.4. Nibbles.

There was general agreement that a broad selection of nibbles, with nothing too heavy, would be appropriate. It was felt that a buffet arrangement would be more relaxed than formal "sit down" meals. Included would almost certainly be:

Cheese and pineapple on sticks, preferable stuck into grapefruit halves;
Sausages on sticks;
Sausage rolls;
Scotch eggs;
Pork pies (individual);
French sticks;
Cheddar cheese;
Celery (in a glass);
A complete round of brie (for that "continental" touch!);
Crisps (various flavours);
Dishes of roasted peanuts (not dry roasted due to confined space);
trifle (or similar).

It was emphasised that these are suggestions and will depend on availability. It was mentioned that rolled-up bacon rashers make an agreeable substitute for sausages on sticks. It was agreed to check whether you could still get that veal, ham and egg pie, with the egg going right through it, like seaside rock. A long discussion ensued about what veal actually is, technically. An anonymous request for salads has been discounted as a hoax.

1.5. Wine.

There was unanimous agreement that wine was for poofs. However, one bottle of rosť Piat D'Or would be included in case of unplanned female visitors.

2. Fish and Chips.

It was suggested that we could have fish and chips, once a week, perhaps Fridays for Catholics. After a show of hands it was noted that none of the TEC actually were Catholic, although one or two expressed the opinion that there probably was "something", otherwise it all became, you know, a bit pointless, really. It was decided to stick to Fridays anyway, as it was good to get into a regular routine (other sorts of routine being notoriously unpredictable).

3. Runs.

In the event of an emergency it will be likely that the existing run list (ERL) will have to be scrapped. It was thought that the ERL should be kept in a safe place, ready for instant use after the emergency. Instead, an emergency run list (ERL) will be drawn up at the earliest opportunity, each run starting from the secret hash bunker, but following different routes. It was pointed out that this was hardly a list as every run would start from the same place, which we couldnít print as itís a secret. However, it was thought that it would still be a good idea, because it would give people a sense of purpose.

4. Flour and chalk.

Emergency powers invested in the TEC will enable it to requisition flour, which would otherwise be hoarded for food purposes. A limited amount may be kept back for use in cheese straw manufacture if things get really desperate.

It was suggested that local schools could be a valuable source of chalk, which should be commandeered at the earliest opportunity.