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Minutes of the 25th Annual General Piss-Up held on 5th April 2008 at The Cornubia, Temple Street, off Victoria Street, Bristol.
Minutes taken by PeePee and transcribed by Wet Wipe.
The meeting was opened by the Grand Mistress, Wet Wipe, who welcomed those present (Sleepy, PeePee, Clem, Massive, Smurf, Trolley Dolley, Lunchbox, Spiderman, THE Fat Controller, Gazza, Public Enemy, Sewer Rat, Dr Z, Waynetta).
1. Apologies for absence.
There were several apologies, some of which had fairly spurious reasons. Wolfie (because of a delayed trip to Italy, apparently), Mad Max (allegedly riding an elephant in Thailand), Puki Jangut and Soprano (still quaffing Aussie wines), Sweat Monster (somewhere on the Indian Ocean with Old Leg Over and Coach Bob), 10cc (goodness knows where he is!), Knead (we were third in the priority list after two birthday parties), Duracell (didn't give any reason - must have been watching TV or something), Scoop (having fun without Trolley Dolley in Paris).
2. Minutes of the last meeting held on 31st March 2007.
In an attempt to break the AGPU speed record these were proposed as a true record by Lunchbox and seconded by Spiderman without any queries or arguments.
3. Matters Arising.
This was skipped over. No one seemed to notice.
4. Outgoing Officers' Reports.
4.1. Grand Master. Wet Wipe said that it had been an honour to be at the helm for another year. She said that while representing the Hash at Interhash she'd had to undergo several Down Downs on the Hash's behalf. It was a dirty job, but someone had to do it.
4.2. Hash Cash. Sleepy distributed the output from C.A.S.H. (Computerised Accounting System for Hashes) for the year January 2007 to December 2007, inclusive, which reported a surplus of £228. Lunchbox said he couldn't believe it, and wondered whether the accounts were fraudulent. Massive stated that there must be discrepencies with the figures as he MUST have spent more on Down Downs than was reported. Sleepy denied all. [A copy of the accounts is included at the end of these minutes.]
4.3. On-Sec, Web Shite and Stats. Wet Wipe reported that Wolfie hadn't reported anything, but that if we wanted him to he was happy to continue with all three of his jobs. The fool!
4.4. Religious Advisor. Massive muttered something else about money, Down Downs and accounts.
4.5. Hare Raiser. Spiderman didn't have anything to report apart from the fact that Hares were required for future Hashes.
4.6. Social Committee. No one from the social committee was present. Those present stated some confusion about what the social committee had actually done over the past year. Wet Wipe reminded the meeting that there had been a walk around the pubs of Hotwells and a trip to Mama Mia. There were a few mumbles sounding something like 'oh yeah', and 'big deal'. Waynetta proposed a vote of thanks to Sweat Monster for the Mama Mia trip, which was ignored by the others present.
4.7. Haberdasher. Soprano wasn't present but Sleepy said he was delighted that she's reined in the spending a bit over the last year.
4.8 Hash Horn. Lunchbox apologised for his performance over the past year. This was received with overwhelming thanks by the meeting.
5. Hash Pub Awards.
Wet Wipe said that she hadn't brought the scores with her and, anyway, they were incomplete. Massive then tabled the scores that he had been keeping, which were almost complete, although he did admit that when he forgot to get scores in the Circle he just gave the pub a 10/10. Wet Wipe said they couldn't be correct as The Bridge Inn, which had charged her 40p for a glass of water and then given Massive free cheese and biscuits, was scored at 11/10. There were also some guffaws from around the table over some of the spelling. Wet Wipe proposed that a certificate for Outstanding Hash Friendliness be sent to Mark at The Beaufort Arms, Hawkesbury Upton. This was unanimously agreed. [Action: Wet Wipe.]
6. The Bristol and Associated Hashes Pension Scheme (BAHPS) report.
There was concern around the table that we would soon have to start paying Puki Jangut some money out of the Hash pension fund as he really was getting to be an old fart. Lunchbox said not to worry as he could prove that PJ was dead and provide the relevant certificate, therefore preventing the need to commence payments.
7. Resignation of Officers.
Those officers present were asked to resign and accept down-downs. Wet Wipe was heard to sigh and say 'here we go again!'
8. Election of Officers.
The following officers were elected:
Grand Master: Wet Wipe.
9. Vote of thanks to retiring officers.
Wet Wipe proposed a vote of thanks to the outgoing officers, most of which were also incoming. This was unanimously approved by the meeting.
10. Any Other Business.
10.1. Wet Wipe asked Lunchbox whether there was any progress on the Grand Bru (1991) case. Lunchbox replied that there had been none over the past year. Wet Wipe tabled pictures of those involved before it got ugly (Web Shite 1991).
10.2. Wet Wipe remided those present that the Birthday Weekend was getting closer and it was about time we did something about it. She suggested a meeeting to discuss arrangments after the Hash on Sunday 13th April. The Fat Controller sent his apologies for the meeting as he would be on a slide in Euro Disney.
10.3 Waynetta said that the catering arrangments for the AGPU had been a resounding success and suggested we do the same next year. Spiderman suggested that we did a list so we didn't end up with nothing but sausages. After it was pointed out that we didn't have any sausages this time, he was voted in to prepare the list and allocate foods to people for the next AGPU.
11. Date of Next Meeting. Saturday, 28th March 2009.