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Minutes of the 22nd Annual General Piss-Up held on 27th March 2004
at The Cornubia, Temple Street, Bristol.
1. Apologies for absence had been received from Lightning and Skippy, although, in both cases, it was felt that apologies were completely unnecessary.
2. Minutes of the last meeting, held on 29th March 2003, were approved.
3. Outgoing officers' reports:
3.1. Grand Master. Fat Controller warned, from a semi-recumbent position, that Waynetta had helped to prepare the food for the evening, due to unforseen staff problems at the pub.
He added that his year of office had been "pretty good". A pause ensued during which members talked among themselves. Eventually FC added, inaudibly to many, that he had organised the Christmas Fancy Dress Party, but that, sadly, he was unable to be there himself. He remarked that this should be a lesson to all of us: never leave arrangements to underlings, specially if they're Sweaty. His remarks tailed off at this point. He was, shortly afterwards, heard to be snoring.
3.2. Hare Raiser. Spiderman thanked all the hares for, er, haring, during 2003.
3.3. Religious Advisor. Lunchbox said he'd had a bit of trouble with his knee. He also said that the old problem of shit on stiles was rearing its ugly head again. He claimed to be aware of the main culprits, and implied that they, also, knew who they were. At this, many members were seen to glance, shiftily, at each other. Lunchbox added that he would monitor the situation and issue an update at the next AGM.
3.4. On-Sec. Wolfie said that he was still no wiser about what the On-Sec was supposed to do, but that he had received no complaints.
3.5. Social Committee. No-one admitted to being on the Social Committee. Gazza enquired why there had been no panto last year. He was invited to re-phrase this as a statement, so that everyone could shout "Oh, yes/no there is/was/wasn't!" but declined.
3.6. Haberdasher. Gazza stated that he had a wardrobe containing an estimated £27,000.00 worth of hash T-shirts and other items, albeit some used. Many, judging from the artwork, were over ten years old. He wasn't sure exactly what some of the items were, but thought they might be for "ladies". After a show of hands, it was decided to burn them. Spiderman asked whether we still owned the commemorative jock-strap worn, and memorably displayed, by Gordon "Drambo" Stuart at the 150th week-end. It was thought that this was in the possession of one Robert Newton, late of Westbury-on-Trym, although Wolfie had heard rumours of a mystery New York buyer.
3.7. Hash Cash. A revived FC asked what was being done about awards. Following some discussion, noteably containing the rarely-heard phrase "IKEA gift voucher, my arse!" FC distributed accounts for the year 2003, which appear below.
4. Resignation of Officers. Officers for 2003/4 resigned en masse, except for Sweatmonster who insisted on resigning en bloc. [This joke first appeared in the minutes of the AGPU 2002 and is maintained for the nation from hash funds.]
The food this year was prepared in advance by a person or persons unknown (plus Waynetta) on the theme of "wedding reception buffet, 1976". Sandwiches and quiches were in abundance, plus pre-segmented pizzas for that "continental touch". Vol-au-vents were, as usual, a firm favourite with the ladies, while the gentlemen tended towards roughly-hewn cheddar and pickled onions.
6. Election of Officers.
The following officers were proposed, seconded and elected.
6.1. Grand Master: Clem. It is difficult, in hindsight, to envisage how this happened. Sleepy was proposed by Mad Max, seconded by Waynetta, and Lightning was proposed by FC and seconded by Duvet. It is not recorded who either proposed or seconded Clem, but, rest assured, if we ever find out, their lives won't be worth living.
6.2. Joint Masters: Sleepy and Lightning.
6.3. Religious Advisor: Lunchbox.
6.4. Beer Meister: Gazza.
6.5. On-Sec, Stats, Webshite: Wolfie.
6.6. Hash Cash: Sleepy.
6.7. Hare Raiser: Spiderman.
6.8. Haberdasher: Soprano.
6.9. Social Committee: Mad Max, Soprano, Public Enemy, Sweatmonster.
6.10. Mee-mee: Fat Controller.
6.11. Deputy Dawg: Jed (again!)
6.12. Awards Coordinator: Mad Max.
7. The vote of thanks to the hare setting the next day's run, bearing in mind that the clocks go back so the poor sod's hardly going to get any sleep at all by the time he gets home tonight, was carried unanimously.
8. Any Other Business.
There was some discussion concerning the timing, format and venue of the Public Enema Memorial Run. Some members felt that raising money for cancer relief was of prime importance whereas others felt that celebrating Dave's birthday was equally relevent. It was clear that Dave's death was still a matter affecting many members and that whatever was eventually decided would not prevent all who knew him from remembering a good hasher and friend.
9. Date of Next Meeting: 26th March 2005, dv.
Addendum: Since the meeting Rob Newton (GM 1984-1988) has denied all knowledge of Gordon Stuart's jock strap, commemorative or otherwise.