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Minutes of the 20th Annual General Piss-Up held on 6th April 2002 at the Nova Scotia, Hotwells, Bristol (upstairs room).
The meeting was chaired by the outgoing Grand Master, Le Caniveau. Wolfie delayed the start of the meeting by arriving late. Furthermore, he had not prepared any agenda, saying that no-one had asked him to. Lunchbox called him a prat. Wolfie pretended to take this in good part, but made a mental note. An agenda was hurridly compiled, scribbled in green ink on a beer mat and passed to the Chairman.
There were a number of apologies, but none for absence. Le Caniveau apologised for being GM for the last year and a number of members apologised for voting for him at the 19th meeting.
On a point of order from the floor, it was stated that there were no minutes of the last meeting, so it was impossible either to approve or disapprove them. An unrelated scuffle broke out at the back of the room, allegedly concerning the identification and ownership of a pint of Smiles Best. The Chairman, from a standing position, was able to calm the situation, eventually, by saying how he understood that this was a tense time for all of us and that feelings were, not to put too fine a point on it, raw. He added that a finger buffet would be available in due course, with vegetarian options.
Fat Controller distributed the accounts for 2001. Kneed complained that these appeared, if he was not much mistaken, to end abruptly on December 31st, and he demanded an explanation. Fat Controller explained that, for the purposes of the preparation of the accounts, he had taken "2001" to mean the period from the 1st January 2001 up to 31st December 2001, inclusive. Kneed thanked him for clarifying this point. The accounts are appended to, and form part of, these minutes.
Lunchbox, once again, and amid general heckling, attempted to raise the matter of the Grand Bru Beer Scandal of 1987. On a point of order from the floor, it was pointed out that the trip to Grand Bru took place in 1991, and that Lunchbox, and his Personal Statement, were, therefore, null and void. Lunchbox, largely due to the fact that his two co-complainants, Spiderman (not present) and Wolfie (still sulking about the "prat" comment) were unable to support him, said that he would, therefore, raise the matter again at the 21st meeting. However, members, particularly the Religious Advisor, Lightning, (who wasnít even out of short trousers in 1991!) decided that this matter had dragged on for long enough. Lightning announced that he wished to make a personal statement. He revealed that archaeologists working in Belgium had, recently, unearthed a beer barrel which, forensic investigation had proved, was the original beer in question. He proposed that Lunchbox and Wolfie accept a down-down from this very barrel, and that the matter, which had been a festering sore at the heart of the Bristol Hash these eleven long years, be laid to rest once and for all. Lunchbox replied that, in fact he is a forensic scientist, and that if anybody was going to pronounce on the contents of the remarkably-well-preserved box, it would be him. He then tasted the "beer" and declared it to be shit. So as not to lose face, Lightning and Fat Controller drank a pint each of it, saying that it wasnít bad but that they usually drank the stuff hot, with milk and two sugars.
While Lightning and Fat Controller were in the toilet, Wolfie read out personal awards from 2001, which were as follows:
Dave "Sweatmonster" Battye 150th run on 11/02/2001 at The Queens Head, Hullavington
Dan "Lightning" Blewitt 100th run on 25/11/2001 at The Butchers Arms, Farmborough.
Alan "Spiderman" Chamberlain 600th run on 07/01/2001 at The Chequers, Box
Steve "Lunchbox" Green 500th run on 25/11/2001 at The Butchers Arms, Farmborough.
Celia Greenwood 50th run on 18/11/2001 at The Victoria, Chock Lane, Westbury-on-Trym
Catherine "Soprano" McCarthy 150th run on 14/01/2001 at The Horseshoe, Syston Common
Paul "Fat Controller" Mountford 700th run on 04/02/2001 at The Coronation Tap, Clifton
Maxine "Mad Max" Turner 200th run on 22/07/2001 at The White Hart, Bridgeyate
Martin "Wolfie" Wolff 650th run on 19/08/2001 at The Fox, Old Down, Tockington
Mark "Tablewhine" Young 400th run on 15/07/2001 at The Northend Inn, Northend, Batheaston.
The officers for 2001-2002 resigned en masse. Apart from Sweatmonster who insisted on resigning en bloc.